21.3.12

I dreamt that I went to see Duran Duran with a coach party of similarly obsessed Duranies. After the show, we were all hanging around outside the Students' Union at my uni - including the band. It was so hectic that I didn't think I'd get a chance to speak to any of them, but then I noticed John on his own so I seized my chance. "John, can I tell you you're the most beautiful man in the world?" I said. He laughed and thanked me, then started asking me where I was from but I'd made myself so excited that I woke up!

I fell asleep again and dreamt I went to Hull with my friends Grace, Becky, possibly some others from home, and my Facebook friend Jacqui. I wasn't allowed to look around Hull properly for some reason, but we wandered around the town centre. My friend Emma was there at some points. I went to the loo and this woman in the cubicle next to me knocked down the walls of mine, while I was still on the loo, to talk to me.

Then, I can't tell if I was watching this in a film, with Emma at parts, or if it was actually happening, but Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Faramir and Boromir went on a lads' night out. The point was so that Boromir could lose his virginity at last, and Faramir could lose his 'fake virginity' because he was a bit of a playboy but he liked to pretend he was all pure and innocent. He had sex with a fair few women over the course of the night.

During all this, me and Becky met a heavily pregnant Helena Bonham Carter. She was going to have Tim Burton's baby. We complimented her on how nice she looked. I got talking to her about the baby, and she let me feel her tummy. I could feel the outline of the baby's face, it was well weird. She ended up sleeping with Faramir in a Krispy Kreme shop, then eating loads of pink doughnuts.

(I think Boromir did find himself a lady. So did Merry.)