29.5.11

I dreamt I was playing a Tomb Raider which was based around a conflict in Pakistan. The parts I played in the dream involved battling a dragon, and sneaking around a massive group of big houses, stealing things.

I also bought a new guinea pig - to get it used to its new home I had to float it in there in a plastic bag. When I let it go it escaped into a gap in the skirting board, and I only managed to get it out when a cat came in the house.

I also dreamt I was leaving uni for summer all over again, but Amy came to uni with me so she was there too.

27.5.11

I dreamt I went to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 but because it wasn't officially out yet I couldn't watch it in full. I had to do it in bits, and miss out the bit where Ron and Hermione kissed.

26.5.11

I woke up feeling ill in the night so I was sort of awake-dreaming that me and my online friend Tami were parking cars next to these blocks, but we couldn't work it out. It was horrible, I felt delirious!

Once I felt better and got back to sleep I dreamt that Royal Mail were issuing commemorative Rik Mayall stamps. Also, I went back to uni on the train, and Amy was there showing me a collection of Rik-autographs she'd managed to collect, of him in different characters.

24.5.11

I won a Comic Relief competition where I got to go live on the show on Red Nose Day and improvise a scene of Bottom with Rik and Ade. It was like a dream come true for me, with the whole nation watching to prove it really happened! I had all my family tuned in on TV - Dad rang everyone afterwards and apparently my Auntie was repulsed by the crude humour but at the same time she found me funny, so she didn't know whether to laugh or punch me in the face. The improvisation itself was hard at first but it ended up going quite well and at the end Rik smiled at me.

23.5.11

I dreamt I got driving again, but because I hadn't done it in quite a while I was terrible at it and kept nearly crashing. I pulled out in front of someone at a roundabout and actually had to reach my hand out to push the other car away.

21.5.11

I dreamt me and my friend Grace were playing Tomb Raider Legend but the game was being narrated by two girls who hated it, so they got really annoying.

I also had a cocaine problem. I didn't realise for ages because I thought the coke I was doing was sherbet, but then my family showed me some photos of me high on it and I believed I had a problem. Giving up was relatively easy, due to the whole "I thought it was sherbet" thing!

19.5.11

I dreamt I was at my uni house but I needed to be in uni by ten o' clock because I was doing a poetry performance for part of my degree. I had to strip as part of this performance but I'm not sure why. In the dream I never made it to the poetry thing because my timing was working on realtime: I was midway between being asleep and awake and I kept checking my clock and using that in the dream. Yes, I'm confused too.

18.5.11

I was at home with some of my uni friends and we were hanging around outside the Co-Op because that was apparently where people hung out. This small truck drove past that was on fire. One of my friends threw an apple at it: the driver got mad, the apple bounced off and my friend caught it, even though it was on fire. He chucked it aside without even being the slightest bit burnt.

14.5.11

I dreamt that because I still have a key for the old house, I was allowed to go back there whenever I wanted.

12.5.11

I dreamt Duran Duran were playing a gig in the garden opposite where I lived. Unfortunately I was really busy packing stuff up to move house so I had to keep and dashing there and back. I was, most of the time, pretty much the only person there. It was nice having them all to myself, but they were visibly not making much of an effort for just me. Especially not Simon. He was singing shit.

10.5.11

I dreamt my laptop had completely broken. The screen had practically split in half down the middle.

8.5.11

I dreamt I was going to get my deposit back on my room at uni so I had to make sure it was all neat and tidy. It turned out I'd doodled loads on the inside of the wardrobe door in permanent marker, so I had to scrub it all off. But even then it left white shadows where it had all been.

Three Reasons

...for my long absence.

1. I moved house and had no Internet in said house for nearly two weeks.

2. I had important exams and all the knowledge I needed for them fell out of my head.

3. Blogger didn't work when I finally did try to update it.

Sorry mates! Here come the dreams.

4.5.11

I dreamt I was somewhere in a massive crowd of people singing A Spaceman Came Travelling by Chris de Burgh really really loudly and emotionally. Even though it wasn't Christmas.

29.4.11

I dreamt I had to go to one of my uni friends' houses as part of my course. They had a really big, weird family and I hated it there.

28.4.11

I dreamt that I was going to play a nun in the chorus of a play that Rik Mayall was in, so I got all excited about meeting him. We all had to get the bus to the theatre, so I sat behind the driver with a view to seeing anyone who got on the bus as they did so, and was thrilled when Rik chose the seat opposite me. I said 'hi' all nervous-like and he shook my hand and started chatting to me about how he thought we'd met before, and how cool my stripy tights were. It was awesome, but before long he went to sit with someone he knew so he could talk to them.

27.4.11

I was camping somewhere with my family when this frog started crawling over me. When I tried to get it off it turned into a guinea pig, which was apparently something frogs did. I woke up to Amy tapping me, thinking she was the frog/guinea pig.

I'm sorry I've been horrendous at updating, I'm moving house soon and it's all a bit of a chew-on really.

I dreamt I was watching a sketch show where a woman was in a car showroom obviously looking for a new car. It all seemed ordinary and legit until she chose the one she wanted, jumped up onto the bonnet and started dancing to Here I Go Again.

25.4.11

I dreamt I was walking round town with various uni friends and our Chips branch had been closed down quite suddenly.

I sat for a drink with one of them and they were talking about cutting all their hair off so I fluffed it up sadly.

20.4.11

I dreamt I was wandering around uni with Mr. Schue from Glee, talking to him, though I think I was actually really annoying him. When I realised that Mr. Schue is a fictional character, I said "Can I call you Will instead?" but what I of course meant was 'Matthew'.

19.4.11

I dreamt I was sitting in my living room the way it used to be before the extension with Sue, Brittany, Santana, Finn and Puck from Glee. I'm not sure what we were all doing there but I know Sue was planning something. I think I was going out with Puck, too, because we were snuggled up together in the same chair, but stuff had obviously happened before that that I wasn't asleep to dream up. Santana was trying to get with Brittany again but she wouldn't hear of it.

18.4.11

I dreamt Rik Mayall was doing a live show of The New Statesman but he looked exactly like he did in the TV programme so I don't know how old he was or when the dream was set or anything. All I knew was that I was in it with him and got to be in the same bed as him!

17.4.11

I dreamt I was having a night out at uni but the whole place was absolutely heaving: town, uni, my estate, etc. with people who were completely wasted. I couldn't take much more of it: I came back to my house and got hassled on the way by this girl who used to pick on me a bit at primary school. I made a quick exit into my house to discover that Mr. Schue, from Glee, was keeping an eye on people coming in, making sure they were OK. I was fine on seeing him! Then, for some reason, I was going to Michigan. I was on a plane but I woke up very soon into the journey. WHY DOES THE ENTER BUTTON NOT WORK AT THE MOMENT?

16.4.11

I only remember that one of my uni friends was in it...

15.4.11

I dreamt that I was at some sort of fair in Hull with my friends Stiggy and Alira. It was before the fair's opening time but we were underneath a tent canopy of a stall. The stall was a game where you had to roll balls into slots to score certain numbers and win different prizes. We were allowed to let people have a quick free go but not seriously and they weren't allowed any prizes. One guy turned up to do this but he started taking liberties and wouldn't stop, excusing his behaviour using a term for it which I can't remember, but I think it only existed in the dream. In the end, I got so annoyed with him that we had a fight. I used lots of taekwondo and it seemed to be working, but to really hammer the message home I started using Bottom-esque violence against him, including pouring boiling water all over his genitals. A bit harsh? Well, he was a total bastard.

14.4.11

So much shit recently. So much moving. So much busy-ness. And so few dreams remembered! HOPEFULLY I'll be back on track soon.

5.4.11

I dreamt I was looking at my Andy Taylor book with Andy Taylor. We were getting on well and I told him I'd really enjoyed it and how great it was. Then John was there too and I told him he'd come across as being really cool from Andy's point of view, and that he should write his own Duran Duran book.

4.4.11

WHY DOESN'T THE ENTER BUTTON WORK AT THE MOMENT? It makes my writing look sloppy and crowded... I dreamt we were in this weird drama class and were asked to write a funny sketch, on a pair of one of my uni friends' underwear... I was working with Grace and someone else. I mentally trawled through my bank of sketch ideas and thought about doing my 'Jesus College' one but the teacher didn't think that would be funny enough because she considered it more of an in-joke. Whilst thinking, I watched a bit of a film where this woman was going to let her dog die in some accident or other because it was all fluffy and lollipy and walked funny. (Somehow, it was meant to be hilarious, this film.) There was nothing wrong with it and it was really cute. While she went away to take care of some stuff, these two girls with a Golden Retriever found it and decided the dogs should be best friends... Later there was a graphic dog-sex scene which was the funniest thing in the world due to the fluffy dog's floppiness - and, apparently, the other dog's compulsive vomiting after sex. I decided to re-write this section of the movie as our sketch.

3.4.11

I dreamt that I somehow, totally by accident, got involved in a charity whose main objective was to send videos of themselves singing inspirational songs over to poorer countries. What this was supposed to do, I have no idea, but it was quite a big thing... So I ended up in the middle of Huddersfield at the end of a queue in front of a video camera, expected to sing something at some point. Everyone did it in an instant, no questions asked, but I had no idea what on Earth to sing. When it got to my turn I deliberated for ages. I suggested going A Little Respect by Erasure but one of the more senior members of the charity said that that was too happy, and we didn't want the people to think they had to respect us anyway, since they'd done nothing wrong. Eventually, I started up the first part of The Power of Love by Frankie Goes to Hollywood and the whole town, it seemed, got wind of my singing. They all joined in, and before long we were a big crowd all tangled together singing The power of loo-ooove... A new Harry Potter book also came out. It was intended to be the last one where Deathly Hallows had apparently not finished off, but it really confused me because there wasn't going to be another film.

2.4.11

I dreamt all seven (me, Dad, Amy, Charlotte, Courtney, Rayanne and Charlie) of us were on holiday somewhere and there was this log flume ride that was supposed to be a lot of fun. It turned out it was basically two big boxes on tracks that got pushed forward really fast towards a solid stone wall, and when they hit it they bounced off backwards so that you hit everyone else in the box. It wasn't that fun at all. When we got off them, my Mum was there waiting for me. (If my Mum is in dreams, it works in one of three ways: either it's weird and confusing, it's a bit strange but it happens, or she never died.) This was a 'it's a bit strange but it happens' dream so I hugged her and told her all about how she'd missed me going to university, so I explained a bit about the sort of person I was now. I woke up wanting to cry!

31.3.11

I think Steve Coogan might have been involved, in-character as Alan Partridge.

30.3.11

I dreamt I was hanging round my old primary school/work (I used to clean there before I came to university) and I saw a cute little reptile that was a cross between a snake and some sort of lizard on the road. The cars that went past were avoiding it but I was scared it was going to get run over, and it did - but only on its tail, so it didn't get killed. Just rather hurt.

29.3.11

This was one of those dreams that's messed up and you can't figure out the order of once you're awake. I was on holiday in the States somewhere, at some points it was Florida and others Alabama, and we drove past some giant flamingos... and into Northallerton again, which was the next town on from the ones we were at, meaning I'd lived right next to the USA all my life and not realised. I was also potentially pregnant, though I never found out if I was or not, because I woke up before I did a test or anything. It was a much more casual thing in the dream, though - no one seemed that bothered, not even me: in real life I'd be crapping my pants. And I met Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan, briefly. But then I got talking to who I thought was Steve Coogan and it was actually a woman.

28.3.11

I dreamt that I was in a shopping centre near uni which was more like the centre in Hull near the train station. We were then in the car near Yafforth and Dad accidentally ran over a fox. Its guts went absolutely everywhere. I had to shut my eyes for several hundred yards because I didn't want to see it. When we arrived where we were going (I don't know where that was) I was waiting around outside this garage/service station sort of place and I read in a newspaper that Rik Mayall, Ade Edmondson, Nigel Planer and Christopher Ryan had all been killed in a road traffic accident on the way to their first date of a Young Ones live tour they were doing. At first I was merely horrified, but then I realised above everything else that this meant that Rik Mayall was dead. I started screaming and crying even though I was in public and people were looking. I was never going to see him live, see him in anything else, or meet him.

27.3.11

I don't have a filler dream from Friday night because I'm at home and I left my dream diaries at uni. I dreamt last night,though, that I went to see The Damned in a supermarket, I think. (It was all very confusing...) But they got really upset because they'd had technical difficulties that meant they couldn't play Planet Earth. I'm not sure if they were meant to be Duran Duran by this point.

25.3.11

I dreamt I was in a sort of restaurant with some friends and family, but the only people I know were there for sure were Dad and Amy, and we were looking at a Duran Duran tour poster so I could figure out where they were and when, for me to go and meet them before they went to do their shows.

Coincidentally, they were playing in whatever town we were in that night, and decided to come to the restaurant for their tea. This included Andy Taylor, who I don't think had ever left.

I got to talk to all of them at least a little bit, but mostly I talked to Nick (who had changed his surname to Feather-Rhodes), Roger and John, who had a young daughter with him. When they sat down to actually eat, we left them alone for a bit and I talked to John's daughter instead. She was wearing bright pink shiny leggings kind of like my silver ones. I told her how cool I thought they were and we got talking and became friends.

I got a few photos of the band, but none with them, because I woke up :(

24.3.11

I dreamt that Mr. Schue from Glee was teaching at my old college so I went to talk to him. I wanted to ask him a question about his tour, then I realised Mr Schue. wasn't touring, Matthew Morrison was... I was confused as to whether Mr. Schue was real or whether he was just Matthew in character.

23.3.11

I know JK Rowling was involved... and that's about it!

22.3.11

OH MY GOD my rant just got deleted by problems with the website. I'm not writing that out again! It was just about how inconsistent dream-remembering can be, anyway.

21.3.11

I dreamt I was shopping in Newcastle with Dad and Charlotte, hanging around near the Academy for a bit. It looked different to how it does in real life but I knew where I was. Joel O'Keeffe from Airbourne wandered out of the Academy door, looked around the street, noticed me and made a beeline for me. Excited, I wondered what on Earth he could want.

"If you could be given any present in the world right now, what would it be?" he asked me.

Turned out he was giving me two free Airbourne tickets for their gig in a few weeks' time. He didn't exactly say why but I figured out that it was because he thought I was attractive, and guessed I would like Airbourne by my Iron Maiden t-shirt. I kept hugging him and saying "Thank you thank you thank you!" He was flirting like crazy with me, implying he wanted me backstage after the gig too.

The tickets were weird: small, yellow and rippable. One of them was advertising a Ben Elton show.

20.3.11

I dreamt that another Harry Potter book came out. I'd pre-ordered mine to be delivered, but it only arrived at my house when I'd gone into uni. I couldnt be bothered to go all the way back to read it, so I tried to borrow a copy from Cex which worked like a library. I did managed to get hold of one but when I read it it turned out to be another promotional book instead of the proper one, and it only contained the first chapter, which didn't actually feature Harry at all, sort of like the Prime Minister bit in Half-Blood Prince.

19.3.11

I met Ben Elton at a sort of meet and greet event, because he had written a new book. I told him how cool I thought his books were but we also became friends, hung out a bit and swapped mobile numbers. At around half eleven that night I was looking through the contacts on my phone and I rang him by accident: I cancelled the call but not before his phone started ringing so I was really worried he'd been asleep, I'd woken him up and he'd hate me.

In the morning, though, he rang me back and I thought he was going to tell me we were still cool - but then I woke up to my phone alarm, which I'd forgotten to switch off!

18.3.11

I dreamt that I went to Lightwater Valley and I was desperate to finally go on The Ultimate. It had real trains as carriages, though: you had to open a door, go in and sit down in a similar carriage to the ones on North Transpennine Express trains. Before the roller coaster got going properly, though, I woke up!

16/17.3.11

Two that I can't remember...

(From Tuesday, 8th May 2007)

I dreamt that loads of us Year Tens went camping with my RE teacher Mr Jones. One night we sung loads of Queen songs round the campfire while he played the acoustic guitar. When we sang We Are the Champions I had to move to sit next to Beth, because apparently we had the same shaped mouths and this sounded better when we were singing together. To do this, though, I had to push past Mr Jones, who looked at me really strangely.

15.3.11

Many apologies - I've been all over the place for the last few days, and there've been several non-remembered dreams too, sadly.

I'll bring you up to speed now though, starting with last Tuesday.

I went for a drive in a Land Rover that was a cross between my dad's black Discovery and my friend Rich's white Land Rover. I don't know where we were though, but I was with Rich and my sister Amy.

14.3.11

I dreamt that I dreamt I was in this posh man's mansion with him, and one of his friends who was a girl about my age. He had a mini-museum attached to his mansion so he was showing us around that. In one room there was a dummy in an old military sort of uniform. I could've sworn his hand moved at one point but we dismissed it.

Then, it came to life and attacked the rich guy. Me and the girl tried to help him but we couldn't do anything, and leaving the room by either of the two doors to get help meant running into more living dummies. I tried to save him by melting the dummy with a hair dryer but I was too late.

I think I was awake (in the dream!) after this, and I was hanging out with Rik Mayall but he was in character as Alan B'stard, although we were apparently friends. I went with him to an airport where I also saw Helena Bonham Carter.

13.3.11

I haven't remembered the last couple of nights. I have sketchy mental images from last night but I can't begin to put them into words. Isn't that really annoying?!

Here. For a treat, I'll tell you the first dream I ever remember having, must've been about six.

I dreamt some "cartoon sherriffs" broke into our house. They were led by Desperate Dan, though back then I didn't know who he was, I'd just seen pictures of him. I had to hide from them quickly, so I made myself really thin and long and stuck to the underside of the bannister. The sherriffs passed me as they went upstairs, but when they came back they found me.

I screamed to my Dad for help. He and my Mum were in their room, testing out a new pink toy pram they'd bought, but they came running and Dad collared Desperate Dan. He threatened to take his boot off if he didn't leave us all alone: apparently this was a huge deal. Dan looked petrified and kept screaming to my Dad not to do it.

I woke up around here, but me and my friends used to finish the dream off in our own ways on our way to school!

11.3.11

I dreamt I met up with one of my uni friends in this random, messy room within uni. We started talking about the band Rainbow whilst we were sat on this sofa.

10.3.11

I dreamt I was playing the piano that's in one of our seminar rooms - and I wrote loads of great material on it which I can't remember now I'm awake!

9.3.11

I dreamt we were having some sort of seminar which had most of my uni friends in it, but we were in my home friend Becky's house. This sort of dissolved into a party, participated in by my home friends and some members of our families, including my Dad. He got really drunk and started dancing in Becky's front garden, which was almost entirely a patio. Becky filmed this and uploaded it to YouTube: when she showed me about five minutes later it had had over sixty thousand views.

Later on, I remembered that I was supposed to be going to Leeds to try to track down The Stranglers so I could get their autographs, have our pictures taken with them, etc. By the time I arrived, though, it was midnight, so it was far too late and they were gone.

8.3.11

I'm getting worse and worse at this.

I'm also barely remembering dreams!

5.3.11

I dreamt that Emma was staying over at our house, but we were sleeping in the caravan. When I woke up I told her I was going for a shower, but when I was done I forgot about her being there and I went out to Middlesbrough shopping with Dad and Amy.

When I returned, Emma was still in bed, and rather angry at me for abandoning her all day long.

4.3.11

I dreamt that my friend's friend from university died. She was with us, her home friends, when she got a text from one of her friends back at uni and we all freaked out.

I also dreamt that I went to be on my friend Alira's show again. This time, though, the radio studio was more like an Academy 2, and she was DJing to a crowd of people who were dancing. My friend Si was also there, because apparently he used to be one of Adam's Ants.

3.3.11

I can't remember!

This one comes from the 11th of March last year.

I dreamt I was walking past Bar 100 in town and I saw a sign in the window that said 'Richie and Eddie' were going to be on at Amadeus. When I told Dad excitedly, my RE teacher overheard and decided he was going to go too. We went. On the night, though, I woke up before they even came on.

2.3.11

I went to London. And did Londonny type things, but the only one I can remember is that I went to 10 Downing Street.

1.3.11

No dreams for the last couple of nights, still! :(

This one comes all the way from April the 9th, 2007!

I was watching a rock programme on Kerrang! called 101 Damnations hoping that AC/DC would be on it. They were on twice: I can't remember the second time, but the first song was Jailbreak but with Brian Johnson, and the video was a mickeytake of a ballroom dancing video I'd seen earlier. Two groups of people waltzed out down the protruding bit of the stage, one which included Angus and Brian. They had to go to either side of the stage and waltz while one man and woman kissed in the middle of them all. Angus then jokingly tried to kiss Brian, who was genuinely digusted.

27.2.11

No dreams between the last entry and this one, and I've been to-ing and fro-ing between home and uni so I've not had time to replace them!

(I know it's the 28th now but it's one in the morning, so I haven't had today's dream yet!)

I dreamt that I watched an advert for this robot sort of thing that you could download any personality onto. On the advert, it was demonstrated with someone who chose to have Rik Mayall and pretend he was their Dad.

24.2.11

I dreamt that at uni one of my tutors was called Mr. Schuester. He wasn't the same Mr Schuester from Glee, apprently, but he looked and acted exactly like him so it basically was. Plus my entire lecture group was made of the Glee cast - I sat with Rachel.

He was trying to come up with a way to show us all that he really did care about how his students did, and wasn't just teaching us for the money, so someone suggested he infect us all with cold germs and look after us when we got ill.

23.2.11

I forgot, sorry!

Take this one from the third of September, 2010:

I dreamt I had a pet wasp that kept making annoying noises. Dad kept threatening to kill it but it turned out the noise wasn't my pet wasp at all... in real life, there were strange sounds coming from outside.

22.2.11

I dreamt I went to Primark to find a particular black-and-white striped scarf. This isn't very interesting, I know, but it followed a conversation I had with an online friend about Colin Grigson's leggings.

(Colin Grigson: http://www.ukrockfestivals.com/don-86-bnews-Colin-nigelg.jpg)

How I adore him!

21.2.11

I dreamt I was getting married ... to my Dad? In the dream, though, marriage could happen between anyone, even close blood relations, because it didn't really mean the same things as it does in real life. On the day, though, I was getting nervous. Was I doing the right thing? Should I not wait until I met someone more my age to marry 'properly'? I was in a shop getting my dress which was a lot like my Y12 prom dress, and the woman who sold it to me started doing my make-up really gothic. I then decided not to get married, so I called it off. We had to ring all the people we'd invited.

There was also a part with a big woolly white dog that jumped up at me. It was cute and friendly but it licked my face which apparently meant I had to have a jab from the dog's owner.

20.2.11

I dreamt I was playing some sort of Tomb Raider-esque game, but I was in it myself, with my friends Beth and Ruth. You had to light three different candles to open a door to get out of this underground cave which had a lake in it. This lake made it difficult to do the task at hand, and when I'd finally lit the last candle one of the others went out and I got so angry that I gave up.

I'm not sure how we left the cave after that, but we did.

When I got back to my uni house, one of my housemate's friends came over and invited me to a party someone was having in another one of the houses. I don't think I got to go in the end. Charlotte and Amy came to visit me and we got talking about this party I'd apparently recently had. Sarah B'stard from The New Statesman was there too, for some reason. She was annoying me so I said loudly "At least YOU didn't do the the catering for my party!" And I remembered that she had, and she'd poisoned the sandwiches which I'd purposefully avoided. Charlotte and Amy had had some too, but they'd just been ill. They did a dance to demonstrate this.

My Nana also came to visit me at uni, and I had loads of bananas and cups of soup all over the room.

19.2.11

I dreamt that I saw Cee Lo Green on TV and his teeth looked weirder and longer and whiter than ever.

I'm pretty sure there was more than this, so I'll update as I remember. If I do!

Remembered some more:

I went to the dentist, and my dentist told me my teeth were perfect and I wouldn't need any work doing to them, ever!

18.2.11

I know I'm writing this a day after, but I couldn't remember the dream in the morning and then I had a busy day coming home from uni, and then I still couldn't remember the dream. Well - I can remember one detail. Guess what that was? Rik Mayall. He was in it. Briefly.

So at times like this, I'll dip into one of my past dream diaries and pick an old dream to amuse you all. Since I've left all my past diaries except the one I'm currently writing in at uni, it'll have to be fairly recent. Sooo...

Here's the first thing I ever dreamt at university, 19.9.11.

I dreamt that I was out somewhere with my Nana Jean but I had to go back somewhere else and pick something up. This place sort of turned into home. I was in my room and I could see The Damned rehearsing in my next-door neighbours' front garden. Dave Vanian walked into our garden so I went out to see him. We'd apparently met a couple of times before so we were sort of friends. He knew I was going to uni so he'd bought me a first aid kit, which he thought would be useful, and gave me the contact details for match.com which was more symbolic than anything, because he knew I was in love with him and having a hard time getting over it. He didn't mind though, because I knew and accepted that he was happily married. He asked for my mobile number and gave me his own so we could keep in contact, and arrange to meet up and hang out sometimes. He kept hugging me and kissing me on the top of my head and he was all nice like he was at Newcastle.

At some point in all this, I sadly woke up. When I realised what had gone on I actually said "You're joking?" out loud. Gutted that it was a dream!

17.2.11

This dream was sort of all over the place and a bit confusing.

I was going to see David Bowie at a venue inside uni with my friends Becky, Beth and Laura. When we arrived there, though, I realised I'd left my ticket all the way back home, under my alarm clock, so I had to get the train home and back to uni just to grab it.

There was a lot of random kerfuffle that I can't seem to get into the right order in my head. The part I remember most was in town, we were sitting on a motionless bus which was parked in front of another one. I looked out of the window to see Rik Mayall set fire to the bus behind us (presumably he was feeling pretty anarchic, and he did look a lot like Rick from The Young Ones). I screamed to the bus driver that we had to get off before the other bus exploded but she wouldn't believe me so I got off the bus myself in time to see the other one explode.

After that, I went to Auntie Helen's house and my great-Auntie Evelyn was saying how dangerous it was to "dance into the fire" (A View to a Kill - Duran Duran) and that no one should ever do it. Then Planet Earth came on and Auntie Helen looked shocked that I knew all the words!

16.2.11

I dreamt Rik Mayall came into uni and I was really desperate to at least go and say hi to him, but he was with this woman who was supposed to be his girlfriend in the dream (in real life he's married), so I greatly resented her and didn't dare approach them. When I went into uni, I met my friends from home for some reason and showed them my Cyanide and Happiness book Ice Cream and Sadness, because it had a comic about Drop Dead Fred in it.

As if having to avoid him wasn't bad enough, I'd lost the disc from my Blackadder box set which had Blackadder II on it. I was dying to watch Bells but I couldn't. While I looked everywhere for it, Courtney, Rayanne and Charlton (Dad's girlfriend's triplets) came round for a sleepover and Dad kept making us watch other DVDs in my room while I searched. I found a comedy series I'd forgotten I had, which I'd bought because it had Bruce Dickinson in it, but it also had the guy who plays the "Think don't drive your car on the pavement!" guy in The Young Ones and the policeman in Bottom. I continued my search to a DVD shop, where they were selling DVDs of Bottom adverts for 1p each.

15.2.11

I dreamt I got up to go into uni in the late afternoon. I didn't have a lecture or anything like that, I was just going in to do The Pleasuredome (a radio show I have with my friend Emma) but I didn't want to do even that: it was really dark (and had never been light all day) and windy and a bit rainy. It was also really cold - the weather didn't match mid-February so it was very freaky. It put me in mind of the apocalypse for some reason. From my window I could see searchlights coming from the Galpharm Stadium. They, at least, were pretty and multi-coloured.

Eventually I decided I'd go. I went to see my friend Beth first though, who apparently went to Huddersfield too instead of Oxford.

14.2.11

I dreamt I was at some sort of weird, dark, indoor festival thing set in an old train station. Me and my sister Amy had to go downstairs to go to the toilets, which were in an even darker, weirder place which resembled an abandoned Tube station, a bit like the Aldwych level on Tomb Raider 3.

13.2.11

I dreamt that Simon Le Bon was dead, and had been for a while, which confused me: who, therefore, sang for Duran Duran - and who kept posting on his Twitter? I was talking about it with my sister and one of my friends from college came along who I haven't spoken to since Leeds festival. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he walked away.

I also remembered that one of the Taylors had been in The Exorcist, at the part where they're actually doing the exorcism. I asked my friend Shandi (from deviantART and Facebook), who was there with me, if it was John, but she said it was Andy.

12.2.11

I dreamt another Harry Potter book came out. No one made a real fuss over it though, for some reason. It was meant to be the seventh and final book, but then I remembered that Deathly Hallows had had an epilogue to finish it off so I counted the books and, of course, this new one was the eighth. It was really freaky. I didn't get the plot but towards the end Ginny died. (This was what triggered the realisation about the number of books, the epilogue, etc.) I had to go to bed after I read that part so I assumed Harry would use a Time Turner or something to save her: but when I went to read the rest of the book it was all stuff J.K. Rowling had written about her life, and quotes that had inspired her. There were even some photos on shiny pages, and one of them had me in it, wearing my shiny blue jumpsuit.

There was another freaky bit where a hospital was using peoples' houses for spare beds. Our house looked like a wartime hospital, and loads of people died there. We had to check the bodies when we got up every day.

Then, me and my sister Amy were walking past the BBC 6Music studios and we saw Bruce Dickinson and Rik Mayall outside. I talked briefly to Bruce but I swear sometime he turned into a really strange Matt Lucas in a creepy Little Britain costume (it wasn't a character that actually exists in any of the series) so I concentrated on Rik. Amy took some pictures of us together posing as macho-men but Rik got bored and started messing about. I spent ages with him, generally being stupid and having a laugh - he even got into Drop Dead Fred costume at one point! I swear he must've been quite a few years younger than he actually is in real life, too. When I had to leave he was noticeably upset, saying he'd never related so much to a fan before and he'd had a great time with me. He hugged me for ages and kept kissing me. Dad and Amy were laughing at me but I didn't care because this was RIK MAYALL for God's sake.

When I woke up, I actually said "Oh, no..." out loud as I realised none of it had really happened!

Introduction

I had the idea today that I should write a blog of my dreams. I've kept a dream diary since I was about ten, initially on and off but very regularly for the last three years, and some are just pure gold.

If I remember about this and take the time to update every day, I reckon it could be good. If not, well ... we'll see!