I'm sorry I've been horrendous at updating, I'm moving house soon and it's all a bit of a chew-on really.

I dreamt I was watching a sketch show where a woman was in a car showroom obviously looking for a new car. It all seemed ordinary and legit until she chose the one she wanted, jumped up onto the bonnet and started dancing to Here I Go Again.

25.4.11

I dreamt I was walking round town with various uni friends and our Chips branch had been closed down quite suddenly.

I sat for a drink with one of them and they were talking about cutting all their hair off so I fluffed it up sadly.

20.4.11

I dreamt I was wandering around uni with Mr. Schue from Glee, talking to him, though I think I was actually really annoying him. When I realised that Mr. Schue is a fictional character, I said "Can I call you Will instead?" but what I of course meant was 'Matthew'.

19.4.11

I dreamt I was sitting in my living room the way it used to be before the extension with Sue, Brittany, Santana, Finn and Puck from Glee. I'm not sure what we were all doing there but I know Sue was planning something. I think I was going out with Puck, too, because we were snuggled up together in the same chair, but stuff had obviously happened before that that I wasn't asleep to dream up. Santana was trying to get with Brittany again but she wouldn't hear of it.

18.4.11

I dreamt Rik Mayall was doing a live show of The New Statesman but he looked exactly like he did in the TV programme so I don't know how old he was or when the dream was set or anything. All I knew was that I was in it with him and got to be in the same bed as him!

17.4.11

I dreamt I was having a night out at uni but the whole place was absolutely heaving: town, uni, my estate, etc. with people who were completely wasted. I couldn't take much more of it: I came back to my house and got hassled on the way by this girl who used to pick on me a bit at primary school. I made a quick exit into my house to discover that Mr. Schue, from Glee, was keeping an eye on people coming in, making sure they were OK. I was fine on seeing him! Then, for some reason, I was going to Michigan. I was on a plane but I woke up very soon into the journey. WHY DOES THE ENTER BUTTON NOT WORK AT THE MOMENT?

16.4.11

I only remember that one of my uni friends was in it...

15.4.11

I dreamt that I was at some sort of fair in Hull with my friends Stiggy and Alira. It was before the fair's opening time but we were underneath a tent canopy of a stall. The stall was a game where you had to roll balls into slots to score certain numbers and win different prizes. We were allowed to let people have a quick free go but not seriously and they weren't allowed any prizes. One guy turned up to do this but he started taking liberties and wouldn't stop, excusing his behaviour using a term for it which I can't remember, but I think it only existed in the dream. In the end, I got so annoyed with him that we had a fight. I used lots of taekwondo and it seemed to be working, but to really hammer the message home I started using Bottom-esque violence against him, including pouring boiling water all over his genitals. A bit harsh? Well, he was a total bastard.

14.4.11

So much shit recently. So much moving. So much busy-ness. And so few dreams remembered! HOPEFULLY I'll be back on track soon.

5.4.11

I dreamt I was looking at my Andy Taylor book with Andy Taylor. We were getting on well and I told him I'd really enjoyed it and how great it was. Then John was there too and I told him he'd come across as being really cool from Andy's point of view, and that he should write his own Duran Duran book.

4.4.11

WHY DOESN'T THE ENTER BUTTON WORK AT THE MOMENT? It makes my writing look sloppy and crowded... I dreamt we were in this weird drama class and were asked to write a funny sketch, on a pair of one of my uni friends' underwear... I was working with Grace and someone else. I mentally trawled through my bank of sketch ideas and thought about doing my 'Jesus College' one but the teacher didn't think that would be funny enough because she considered it more of an in-joke. Whilst thinking, I watched a bit of a film where this woman was going to let her dog die in some accident or other because it was all fluffy and lollipy and walked funny. (Somehow, it was meant to be hilarious, this film.) There was nothing wrong with it and it was really cute. While she went away to take care of some stuff, these two girls with a Golden Retriever found it and decided the dogs should be best friends... Later there was a graphic dog-sex scene which was the funniest thing in the world due to the fluffy dog's floppiness - and, apparently, the other dog's compulsive vomiting after sex. I decided to re-write this section of the movie as our sketch.

3.4.11

I dreamt that I somehow, totally by accident, got involved in a charity whose main objective was to send videos of themselves singing inspirational songs over to poorer countries. What this was supposed to do, I have no idea, but it was quite a big thing... So I ended up in the middle of Huddersfield at the end of a queue in front of a video camera, expected to sing something at some point. Everyone did it in an instant, no questions asked, but I had no idea what on Earth to sing. When it got to my turn I deliberated for ages. I suggested going A Little Respect by Erasure but one of the more senior members of the charity said that that was too happy, and we didn't want the people to think they had to respect us anyway, since they'd done nothing wrong. Eventually, I started up the first part of The Power of Love by Frankie Goes to Hollywood and the whole town, it seemed, got wind of my singing. They all joined in, and before long we were a big crowd all tangled together singing The power of loo-ooove... A new Harry Potter book also came out. It was intended to be the last one where Deathly Hallows had apparently not finished off, but it really confused me because there wasn't going to be another film.

2.4.11

I dreamt all seven (me, Dad, Amy, Charlotte, Courtney, Rayanne and Charlie) of us were on holiday somewhere and there was this log flume ride that was supposed to be a lot of fun. It turned out it was basically two big boxes on tracks that got pushed forward really fast towards a solid stone wall, and when they hit it they bounced off backwards so that you hit everyone else in the box. It wasn't that fun at all. When we got off them, my Mum was there waiting for me. (If my Mum is in dreams, it works in one of three ways: either it's weird and confusing, it's a bit strange but it happens, or she never died.) This was a 'it's a bit strange but it happens' dream so I hugged her and told her all about how she'd missed me going to university, so I explained a bit about the sort of person I was now. I woke up wanting to cry!